It can be not easy to read the signs when you are just starting with someone. You may still be in that fun and exciting stage of infatuation. Fighting in a relationship can either be a sign you’re not compatible or that things are progressing (we’ll explain this shortly). Certain fights can have a negative impact on a new relationship. Others can bring a couple closer together if they are handled correctly.
We’ll look closer at the flights that can raise major red flags and those that can be fruitful in certain circumstances.
Trust issues: Detrimental battle
You don’t have to rush intimacy with a new partner, but if there are trust issues, the foundation of your relationship may not be solid enough to support a healthy one. This can lead to unpleasant arguments if one or both partners are liars, easily jealous, or lack trust in their partner. When it comes to trust, there is no way to win. There are two options: either there’s a good reason why there isn’t a high level of trust between the partners (which would be bad), or there is no reason to doubt and suspect, but fights still happen (which would also be bad). It won’t be easy to move forward with the relationship if you don’t have that level of trust in each other.
The future is important:
It’s easy to get emotional when you are arguing about hypothetical futures. You may have a very strong opinion, and it is hard to see what your partner wants. You can get emotional as long as both of you are respectful and willing to compromise. This fight is still important, even if neither of you wants to compromise. For example, if you both want children but one of you doesn’t. It’s better to find out what you want sooner rather than later.
Time control: Detrimental combat
When you first begin dating, it is understandable that you would want to spend your time with the new person you are seeing. (The honeymoon phase happens for everyone, and we will not judge). But when it comes time to breathe again, if either partner tries controlling how the other spends their free time, it can lead to unpleasant arguments. It’s not healthy to control how and with whom someone spends their free time. You should have other interests and relationships to ensure that you do not rely solely on your partner for all your emotional needs.
You may not be ready for a relationship. This level of control could be an indication of emotional abuse.
Establishing boundaries is important in a fight.
Let’s talk boundaries. When you’re just starting, it can be very easy to break boundaries. While you might be okay with admitting that your family isn’t perfect and being able to vent to your partner, your partner may not feel comfortable speaking negatively about their family. You may cause a big fight if you criticize a family member in a manner that they don’t like.
You can improve your relationship as long as you respect the boundaries they set and listen to them. It can be difficult to establish boundaries when you are firm, but if you and your partner are both respectful and understanding, it won’t turn into a fight.
Detrimental combat: the past
Holding someone’s past against them is never a good idea. Our past influences what we want in the future and how we will manage our relationships. Couples who can’t see past the mistakes, relationships, and choices they made before meeting each other can’t grow their relationship.
Important fight: money
Fighting early in a relationship is constructive if it helps you understand your partner better. Money is an emotional topic, even though it may not appear that way at first. It can be not easy to understand your partner if they have different financial beliefs and habits. When you argue about money, but you learn to understand the other person’s feelings about finances, you will be able to work better together as a couple. If you’re looking to build a long-term relationship–possibly one that involves marriage, children, or homeownership–it’s best to get any money fights out of the way early on so you can properly manage your finances as a team when the time comes to do so.
Threats to the enemy
If you use threats to start a fight, the chances of it becoming constructive are lost. The threat to leave someone or other punishments if they do not comply with your demands does not work. If it does, then it is only on the surface because it is based on fear. Two equally negative reasons can lead to threats: the first is to manipulate your partner to do what you want, and the second is to be so desperate for change that you have no other options. You may wish to separate if you feel the need to threaten someone with a breakup if they continue to do something (such as cheating).
