TakeawaySex anxiety can affect anyone, no matter their age, gender, or relationship status. You may have been experiencing fear of sex and fear of performing for many years. You may be noticing your first signs of sex-related anxiety. This article will help you understand what sex anxiety is and the common factors that cause it. It will also explain what you can do to reduce your anxiety.
Does sex cause anxiety in your relationship?
How can sex – something that was once a source of intimacy and connection – suddenly become a topic that creates tension, anxiety, rejection, and discomfort?
Some couples have intimacy problems from time to time. They may complain about incompatible “sex desires” or a lack of lust that causes arguments and loneliness. My clients often complain about sex anxiety that interferes with their ability to have sex. This anxiety can lead to resentment, avoidance, and full-blown resentment, which makes both partners feel frustrated, pressured, and confused.
When sex anxieties are prevalent in a relationship, the whole partnership can suffer.
What is sexual anxiety?
Sexual anxiety can have physiological, logical, and emotional symptoms. These can make it difficult to initiate sexual activity, enjoy orgasm, and perform sexual acts alone and with another person. A trained clinician can determine if these (often normal symptoms) are signs of sex anxiety or performance anxiety.
In order to understand physical intimacy, I am primarily influenced by the emotional security of the couple or individual.
- Can they trust each other, really?
- Respect each other?
- Do they share the same goals?
- Do they support each other equally? Do they regularly show each other that they love each other?
- Do you have any trust ruptures, such as infidelity or resentment?
We don’t forget the sexual anxiety, but we focus on the other aspects of their relationship first.
In my opinion, emotional vulnerabilities in the relationship are key to both parties feeling desire, passion, and sexual confidence. There are some exceptions, such as sexual dysfunction due to a medical issue or past sexual abuse. It is also important to consider the sexual history (including any sexual trauma), sexual schemas, physical health, and mental health.
Sexual problems in a relationship can be a sign of a deeper problem. To identify what this may be, you must reflect on your relationship, improve your communication, and be more open to your feelings about love and sex.
Is anxiety normal before a sexual encounter?
Anxiety can be a normal reaction to sex. Your body may be excited, but your brain interprets that excitement as anxiety/dread.
You may feel a sense of panic and fear, or you might want to run away and avoid sex. It is normal to feel a little anxious before or after sex. However, if anxiety is preventing you from enjoying the pleasures of masturbation or orgasm, intimacy, or intimacy following sex, then it’s time to consult a professional.
How do I get rid of sexual anxiety?
Anxiety is often a chicken or egg situation that feeds off each other. You should seek out a therapist who is trained in anxiety management or a sex counselor for help.
Stress, relationship disconnections, body image, and embarrassment about bodily functions are sometimes the cause. Misinformation, unrealistic expectations, and unhelpful attitudes toward your body, sex, and relationships can be the cause.
You may be stuck in the cycle longer than necessary if you don’t assess and identify the triggers. Self-awareness and stress management exercises should be part of everyday life.
Consider sex therapy, either individually or with your partner. Not ready for therapy yet? You can use the Intimacy guide for vulnerable conversations that will help you and your partner identify possible root causes of sex anxiety. Do not be afraid to talk about sex with your partner, even if it is something you think you already “know.”
Answering these questions in the Intimacy guide requires vulnerability. These questions can help you and your partner understand the underlying meanings of your relationship. They will also help you identify your feelings about your sexuality.
You may uncover issues that you haven’t discussed or aren’t fully aware of by answering these questions. Ironically, by talking about these issues, anxiety could actually decrease.
Communication is the key to overcoming sexual anxiety.
It is only natural that you would want to avoid talking about sex when you have sex anxieties. It can feel more like a trigger than an enjoyable experience when we are anxious about sex. Our sympathetic nervous system causes us to have a negative sexual performance when we are eager. Nothing is wrong with you; you are most likely experiencing a misalignment somewhere with your thoughts/feelings/behaviors/relationship(s). Like any form of anxiety, once you confront it head-on versus trying to control it, you will actually find that it naturally dissipates.
You may think that sex is a cause for disconnection, but after you understand the factors that contributed to this, you will find it to be an opportunity to bond. You can also discover each other’s view of sex, which is very useful when trying to identify each different needs and differences.
Bottom line: “Sex” can change as a relationship changes. It’s important to understand that each partner may have different underlying meanings for sex. Remember that if your partner is feeling anxious and frustrated about sex, it’s likely that they are not happy in their relationship. There is something that you can do to fix this.
