It’s Valentine’s Day, and I thought it was a good time to share one of the most important articles about love & relationships. Our author Mark Manson decided to survey his blog audience to get their advice during the week leading up to his wedding. Mark says, “I sent out the phone call the week before my big day: Anyone who has been married for over ten years and is happy in their relationship, what lessons could you pass on to others?” What works for you and your partner? What worked for you and your partner if you’re divorcing? These reasons are both insightful and relatable to anyone in any type of relationship.
Each time I read this article, it has taught me something about myself, my love life, and the relationships I have with people close to my heart. I am so excited to share it all with you in the hope that you will find inspiration and even motivation. It is as inspiring to me as it is to you. As we all know, love is an ever-changing flow of emotions. Even the most healthy relationships can need advice and help from time to time. Mark’s article has many ways that I can relate to – from his analogies and his real-life examples, and just what we need sometimes.
You might think I copied/pasted the entire article because of all the great callouts and points. Believe it or not, I was able to show restraint even though I didn’t want to. With all that said, I encourage you to read the entire article if time allows. It may change your life and relationship.
Successful relationships are built for the same reasons
A genuine, deep-rooted admiration for one another is essential for a relationship to “work.” Everything else will fall apart without mutual respect.
It is important to remember that love itself is neutral. It can be either healthy or unhealthy, beneficial or harmful depending on what you love and how they love you. Love by itself is not enough for a relationship to last.
Set realistic expectations for romance and relationships
You will have days, weeks, or even years when you’re not all in love. Even worse, you might wake up one morning and realize that ….” it’s all normal. It’s important to remember that it is entirely worth it. Because your relationship with them will change, you’ll be able to look at this person in a few days, a week, or even longer and feel a massive wave of love. Your heart will burst, and your heart will be filled with so much love because a relationship that is alive is constantly evolving. It changes, expands, mellows, and deepens. It isn’t going to be the same as it was, nor will it be in the future, and that’s a good thing.
True love, which is a deep, abiding, and unaffected love, is a choice. It is a commitment that you will always make for someone, regardless of their current circumstances. It is a commitment to someone you know won’t always make you happy – nor should they! – and a person that will need to depend on you at times just as much as you will.
This type of love is more complicated. It’s difficult because it doesn’t always feel good. It’s unglamorous. It involves many early morning doctor’s appointments. It consists in removing bodily fluids that you don’t want to clean up. It is dealing with the insecurities, fears, and ideas of another person, even if you don’t want.
This type of love is more fulfilling and meaningful. It brings true happiness and not just another set of highs.
Respect is the most crucial element in a relationship. Communication is not what’s important, and it’s communication.
My assistant and I noticed a pattern in the responses. Most people who have been separated or had only been married for years always agreed that communication is the key to making things work. Talk often. Talk about everything. Even if it hurts, talk about all things. There is some merit to this (which I’ll discuss later). We noticed that people who have been married for over 20 years, 30 or 40 years, were most passionate about respect. I believe that this is because they have accumulated a lot of experience and learned that communication would eventually fail, regardless of how transparent, transparent, and disciplined it may be. There will always be conflicts and hurt feelings. The only thing that will save you and your partner from the inevitable fallibility of human nature is unerring respect. This is the ability to hold one another in high esteem, believe strongly in each other, and trust that your partner is doing their best with what they have. You will doubt your partner’s intentions if you don’t have that foundation of respect. You will judge each other’s choices and interfere with their freedom. Fear of criticism will make you feel the need to conceal your feelings from each other. This is when cracks begin to appear in the edifice.
