What is gaslighting
“gaslighting” is derived from a 1944 film and 1938 play called Gaslight. In the movie, the husband tricks his wife into believing she is crazy.
Gaslighting can be described as a psychological form of abuse. Gaslighting is also used to gain control of another person.
The abuser increases the trust and dependency of the victim by reducing their confidence in themselves. Gaslighting is a common technique.
The victim’s perception of reality, memory, and sanity are all affected when the abuser gaslights them. They feel confused and anxious.
Gaslighting usually begins slowly. The abusive person first gains the victim’s trust by appearing reasonable. In the first phase, no abusive behavior is displayed. The abuser then suggests that the victim is unreliable or forgetful.
The victim may question if the partner is correct. This happens more often. The abuser will gain more control. The victim is unable to make decisions or trust themselves.
Gaslighting: The essential techniques to know
Abusers can gaslight victims in many ways. Let’s look at their devious methods before we examine the gaslighting words.
Denying and contradicting
When the victim mentions something the abuser said or did, the abuser will deny the memory and act as if it was a fabrication. The abuser may also contradict themselves.
Refusing to disclose information
Information is power, as the saying goes. If someone has important info but refuses to share it, they have power over others. Gaslighters may withhold information to maintain control.
Diversion of blame
Gaslighting others is a form of deceit that never accepts responsibility for its actions. It’s never their fault, even if they aren’t. They always look to others and cannot take responsibility for their actions.
Minimizing feelings
They always think that their feelings are more important than those of others and also minimize or downplay the emotions of others. They may mock or belittle others for expressing their emotions to make others feel smaller.
Create doubt and confusion
It is much easier to control someone confused and in doubt.
Gaslighters know this and use different techniques to confuse others.
Use of sarcasm or mockery
When you’re joking, sarcasm can be a lot of fun. It’s not the way abusers use it.
Sarcasm is used to hurt and humiliate others. Also, they like to make fun of other people’s behaviors to undermine their self-esteem.
Controlling and monitoring behavior
Gaslighters can be very controlling. Gaslighters will monitor and magnify their victim’s every move.
The victim can control their every move, including when they leave the house, whom they talk to, and what they eat.
Isolating the victim
Isolating their victims is another very effective tactic used by abusers.
The victim has to tell others what is happening to her. They might be able to convince them that the abuser needs to stop.
Gaslighting by “gaslighting a gaslighter”
It’s common for people to accuse others of doing the same thing they are doing. They might even accuse the victim of gaslighting when that’s not true.
Exploiting vulnerabilities
It’s human nature to have insecurities. Most people are trying to make others feel better about themselves.
A gaslighter, on the other hand, does exactly the opposite. They deliberately exploit someone’s weaknesses.
Demanding unrealistic things
A controlling abuser will make demands of their victim. Some abusers may make unreasonable and absurd demands on other people. For example, they might demand that their victims cut off all their family members from their lives or never see them again. This is dangerous and toxic.
Experiences and emotions are invalidated
When you’re going through a tough time, having your loved ones comfort you is nice.
Gaslighters do not just try to comfort their victims but also want them to believe that what they have experienced is stupid or wrong. They invalidate the victim’s emotions.
Victimization
Even if the abuser controls a relationship, they will still behave as victims.
This is done to gain control by using guilt and psychological manipulation. The abusers try to make the victim believe that they are the ones who have abused her.
Gaslighting through proxy
When someone else supports them, it is called gaslighting by proxy. It can be subtle. Sometimes it’s very subtle.
Insecurity is projected onto the victim
Everyone has insecurities, as we have said before. The abuser may not appear to have them because they are so confident and in charge.
They act insecure because they are insecure themselves. They project their insecurities onto their victims.
