When it comes to sexual pleasure, there are plenty of sex toy products out there to help you succeed. The best sex toys for couples can shake things up in the bedroom, so we’ve curated a list of top-notch sex toys for you and your partner to enjoy. We also tapped a handful of experts to give us specific products they like and general things to look for when scoping out toys for you and your boo(s). Plus, if you’re on the hunt for a fantastic sexy gift for your partner (or yourself) this Valentine’s Day, a sex toy is always a good call–trust us.
Why use sex toys with a partner
If your sex life has become monotonous, sex toys can help you conjure more intense versions of sensations you already enjoy and help you feel more closely connected to your partner. There’s a widespread misconception that sex toys are a thing you use before you meet your partner or for solo play when they’re out of town. But sex toys aren’t just for single folks, Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland, tells SELF.
“Sex toys allow you and your partner (or partners) to bring an exciting sensation that might not be possible with tongues, fingers, and genitals alone,” Finn says, adding that you can think of them as the sprinkles on top of an already delicious sundae.
“Sex toys do things humans cannot,” agrees Epiphora, a blogger reviewing sex toys professionally for over a decade. “Humans don’t vibrate; humans don’t have penises made of stainless steel.” But that also doesn’t mean that toys are a replacement for, or a threat to, human relationships. Even if you use a fancy stand mixer while baking a cake, you’re still the one who baked that cake–and by the same token, the pleasure and fun of using a sex toy with a partner are often more about the partner than the toy.
Toys “can create unique opportunities for pleasure and bonding,” says Rae Chen, a writer who reviews sex toys at The Notice. This may be especially true for people who struggle to feel pleasure or achieve orgasm without toys, whether due to sensitivity issues, erectile dysfunction, a physical disability, or other conditions. It’s “really freeing when you realize [sex] doesn’t have to all be about human-to-human contact–you can bring in tools to help you access pleasure more easily and efficiently,” says Cassandra Corrado, a sex educator for adults.
What should couples look for when shopping for sex toys
“Ignore all the marketing,” Epiphora warns. “Some toys are specifically labeled ‘for couples,’ but any toy can be for couples.” It’s better to focus on finding toys that fulfill the specific purpose you want them for, whether that be clitoral stimulation during intercourse, app-enabled pleasure for long-distance couples, intense anal sensations, or something else entirely.
“Be willing to have a conversation with each other about what you’re looking for before you walk into a shop,” recommends Bex Caputo, a sex educator, and former sex shop manager. Though the world of sex toys can be daunting even if you’re not a beginner, it’s much easier to get what you want if you and your partner are on the same page about the type(s) of sex toys you’re hoping to find and what you’re hoping to use them for.
Corrado recommends researching toy materials (see our tips on buying your first vibrator) because some are better quality. You should avoid transparent or translucent toys as these tend to be made of materials you don’t want inside you, such as jelly or PVC. That type of toy “will be more affordable up front,” Corrado says, “but you’ll have to replace it in the long-term.” Generally, toys made of materials such as silicone, ABS plastic, glass, sealed ceramic, and stainless steel are going to be the easiest to clean, the longest lasting, and the most comfortable to use.
The best sex toys for couples
Below, we dive into what you should know before shopping for sex toys for couples, and we selected top-rated vibrators, vibrating cock rings, leather strap-on harnesses, rechargeable G-spot vibrators, clitoral toys, dildos, and more to try.
Remote-Controlled Vibrators: Lovense Lush App-Controlled Rechargeable Love Egg Vibrator
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, sometimes you can’t physically be together when you want to be intimate, which is where remote-controlled or app-controlled vibrators come in handy. Lovehoney sex expert Ashley Cobb recommends this waterproof vibrator with rumbly vibrations that can be used internally or externally and connects via Bluetooth to an app your partner can control from wherever they are in the world. “It’s enjoyable when you can’t always get to your partner in person, and you still want to create intimacy,” says Cobb. “Toys like these are good because your partner is still involved in the sexual experience.”
Remote-Controlled Vibrators: We-Vibe Melt
Finn recommends a stimulator like the Melt for adding that clitoral sucking sensation to penetrative vaginal or anal play (even in missionary position! ). “It’s slim design and easy-to-hold handle allow it to fit better between bodies than other clit suction toys on the market like the Womanizer or Satisfyer,” she says. Plus, it can be controlled via the app remotely.
Remote-Controlled Vibrators: We-Vibe Moxie
A pen-drive-shaped panty vibrator that clips into your underwear with a magnet, the Moxie is controlled via an app, allowing your partner to control the vibration from 10, 100, or 3,000 miles away. Finn notes, “While there are tons of panty vibrators on the market, the magnet clip-in feature allows you to position the toy exactly where you want–including, if you have a penis, against the nerve-dense tip.” Game changer.
Remote-Controlled Vibrators: Fifty Shades of Grey Relentless Vibrations Remote Couples Vibrator
Cobb recommends this remote-controlled vibrator because of its versatility and “upscale” matte black appearance. It can be used externally or internally, as its insertable, flexible arms bend to fit in whatever position you choose. It can also be combined with other toys. “One of our users liked it because they said they used it on a suction dildo and made it into a rabbit setup,” says Cobb. “The possibilities are endless.”
