Valentine’s Day could motivate you to find love. These tips can help you increase your chances of finding love.
It doesn’t matter if the entire world obsesses over romance on February 2; it doesn’t mean you should. It’s a great excuse to eat chocolate, especially for happy singles.
If Valentine’s Day makes you think about love, this holiday might be a great motivator to get started.
Our experts provided these 12 tips to increase your chances of success:
The ‘You may love someone if you don’t look’ approach to finding love may need to be corrected.
Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at Washington University and relationship expert, said that this is like saying, “You’ll find work when you least want it.” It is possible, but it rarely happens.
She said that “most people waiting for a job” are unemployed. It’s a reason to be afraid to put in the effort. It does happen, but there are better strategies.
Schwartz agrees with that sentiment: Don’t be depressed. You must try to find someone but not act as if any living body will.
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Find people who like the same things as you.
Schwartz suggested that you can skip singles events if they are not for you but that you must go to places where people can meet you. You can join social groups and meet-ups, be a worker bee for a cause you believe in, or get involved with political parties. You’ll find someone like-minded, and you’ll be doing something that you enjoy.
Schwartz suggested you try online dating to meet a wide range of people. Try a different dating site if you are already online.
Get up from your phone.
Bela Gandhi, founder, and CEO of Smart Dating Academy, Chicago, said many good men and women are out there. She is amazed at how many people complain that they haven’t met anyone but then go out and stare at their phones, despite their best intentions.
Be present wherever you may be, and pay attention to everyone in the room. She advised you to make three seconds of eye contact and smile at the adorable stranger.
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Do not seek romance; instead, look for partnership.
Romance is not for couples, although it can occasionally be fun in marriage. But it’s a partnership that will help you get through the tough times. Tina B. Tessina (a California psychotherapist, also known as Dr. Romance and author of “How to be Happy Partners – Working it Out Together.”
“Don’t search for someone who sweeps your feet. She said this indicates control freaks and will not like what happens afterward. “Look for someone open to giving and taking, who listens to your opinions, considers them, and cares about what it means to you.”
People are attracted to happy people.
The most significant problem in finding love is not feeling good about yourself. Schwartz suggested that you take the time to love yourself and your life. It is essential to be the person you want to meet.
She said, “If you are not happy, positive, and self-confident, you reduce your chances of being in a good space for the right type of person.”
Talk to a therapist if you are depressed. If you don’t exercise, get a trainer. And finally, consult a nutritionist if you want to start eating right. Recognize that you can be more confident if you are shy.
Schwartz stated, “The idea is that one must train for everything, and you also have to train to love.” You can work on yourself. You need to be alive to be a finished product.
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You deserve to take some time for yourself.
Nicole Baras Feuer, a divorce coach at Start Over Smart, Westport, Connecticut, stated that having some alone time after a divorce or any other breakup after a long-term relationship is essential.
Feuer stated, “You’ll be better able to meet the “right” person if there’s time for healing, time alone to discover who you are, and reflect on what went wrong.” So you don’t make the same mistakes again and again.
Often, instant sexual attraction fades.
Gandhi stated that the best love takes time to develop. Attraction is essential, Gandhi said. However, you don’t need to feel it immediately. This instant spark is more about lust than about genuine relationships.
Feuer said that emotions could change over time and become more intense, so it is essential to give everyone a chance.
Avoid the “opposites attract” theory.
Although they may be attracted initially, there will likely be significant friction points later.
According to Dr. Gail Saltz of New York, like-minded people create better, more lasting relationships. There is less to argue about and more to compromise based on seeing eye-to-eye.
Be a “psychotic optimist.”
Gandhi stated, “This means that you must believe that you will find love. Love is meant to be found, and you can only date like hell until it comes to you.”
It is essential to accept the process of dating. A “psychotic optimist” mindset will make it easier once you are confident that true love exists. Gandhi suggests dating at least five people simultaneously until you find the one right. Dating is “casually getting acquainted” with another person, not sleeping with them. She recommends that you wait to have sex with someone until you are in a committed, exclusive relationship.
Learn to understand your needs.
Are you a space-hungry person? Do you desire lots of affection? You must be able to see the big picture.
“No matter what your style may be, it’s okay. But you must know yours and communicate it to your spouse. Tessina stated that you can both train one another if you know what you need.
You need to know the difference between playing around and building a relationship.
Tessina said, “You can have sex with anyone if you are safe and responsible,” “But before you bring someone into the family, share money, or live in your home, consider their baggage.”
She advised that the person you are dating is at their best initially. It can get worse, so find out what is hidden before you go too far.
