How to Date at 50 Plus and Love the Experience
Dating can be very different as we age. So how do we date over 50 and love the experience? Our expectations change. Our energy levels change. We look for different qualities in our dates. So how we date at 50 and plus is very differnet. So how do we date over 50 and love the experience?
Dating through the ages.
My mother recently reminded me that in my 20’s I had thought I was going to be the next Joan Collins. I fondly remember that thought. The future was one of limitless potential. As if, with a twitch of a nose, opportunity was going to fly right into my loungeroom. The decade that is the 20’s, is a time for feeling ‘bullet-proof’. Thinking that life is full of all the possibilities. of someone who is planning spending their forthcoming big Lotto win.
Then when my 30’s came along life became all about plotting career. Albeit still unsure of what I would eventually end up doing or being. Finding the love of my life, pondering children, and generally becoming a grown-up. Maybe I was a late developer.
The 40’s seemed to be a time of confidence and contentment where one floats into wearing life like chic couture. We’ve shedded our past self-conscious, questioning self. We now know more, can do more and above all … still holding onto the last of our Elle Macpherson-like skin.
But for me, the 40’s also encompassed separation, divorce, financial negotiations. At times, all the uncertainty of being on the 33rd floor during an earthquake. You feel the ground contracting and groaning under your feet. You hold your breath hoping the episode will pass without too much carnage.
Whether you pull your soul back together quickly or over a longer period of time, the 50’s creeps up way too quickly. Now we find ourselves: By ourselves, still trying to find the love of our lives,
looking in the mirror and pulling the skin on our face tighter pleading it would stay that way,
pricing collagen and Botox procedures, oh and buying Spanks,
wondering if the new brown spots on the back of our hands will eventually go,
generally questioning if we have the emotional fortitude. Have courage to be able to navigate the new world of dating and God forbid… sex with a new partner.
Yes… our ‘chic’ has somewhat faded and the question is – am I ready to be 50 plus and dating? How does one date at 50 anyway and is there a way for me to love the experience?
Of course, the answer is going to be different for everyone.
In recent years I found myself in my 50’s and dating. Some aspects proved to be easier than I thought they’d be. Some seemed harder to navigate than getting a doctorate. I could say it’s disastrous and men suck, and there aren’t any good ones out there. But the truth is… life has never been better.
On the road to getting here, I’ve faced financial challenges, future fear of being alone. The judgement that sometimes came from married acquaintances, was incomprehensible. I remember noting that once divorced, invitations to couple events slowed. Some parents were even no longer happy to send their children for sleepovers at my place. Perhaps for fear that Freddy Kruger might be there. OMG, tainted with the colour ‘single’.
So, how to date at 50 plus and love the experience? In the words of Marilyn Monroe. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together.
What’s so great. You can still find the love of your life at 50 and plus.
Your past relationships didn’t work out for whatever reason. There’s rarely a point dwelling for too long on the reasons why. The fact is, if you’re in your 50’s and not wanting to spend the rest of your life alone. then I don’t have to be a clairvoyant to tell you that you’re more than likely going to have to date. The good news is that we have more dating options than ever before. So unless you’re invisible. Don’t know another human being and don’t have a phone or the internet… I think you may be up to the challenge.
Veronique De Miguel from Viva Fifty believes that 50 plus women. Are valuable players when it comes to the dating game. We have a lower risk of pregnancy, more free time and independence. , Greater confidence, better conversation and are more sexually knowledgeable. All significant advantages over our younger counterparts.
How to date at 50 plus and love the experience? Here are a few basic tips:
Understand that you are a most amazing and unique individual. Know what you can offer a prospective selfie-partner to-be. If you’re not ready for the experience, analyse what it is you need to change and work towards doing just that.
If you’re unsure of your emotional health and readiness for the journey. Engaging a professional counsellor or dating consultant. May prove to be worth the investment.
Look the best you can. If not all about looks. But research tells us that when we look good, we usually feel good and are likely to come across more confident.
Have a clear picture of the type of person you are looking to attract. If we’re shopping for a race-day fascinator, we don’t come home with a sporting cap. If we don’t have a clear picture, we can often be taken off track which in the end may result in disappointment.
Be enthusiastic, tolerant and patient. Perfecting a Bombe Alaska takes time and patience but is worth it in the end. If you invest all that you can into the process, you may be enchanted by your results in the end.