Dating Mistakes You May Be Making: Get Dating. But here are 10 Dating pitfalls to look out for
Although exact figures are hard to find. We’ve estimated that there are around 3 million people. Currently searching for love on online dating sites and other introduction platform. If there are so many people looking for their perfect partner, why aren’t we finding them? We have more mediums to date now than ever before. We no longer have to stand around in bars and stay out late only to be exhausted the next day at the office.
We’ve said bye bye to needing to go on God-awful blind dates organised by our married friends. Yes … we have access for hundreds of potentials. By sitting at home in our flannies perched in front of TV with laptop in hand. Have we become too picky or intolerant? Are we too busy to put the required effort in, or have we lost the ability to connect with others? Yet still, we are searching without getting the sweep-us-off-our-feet results. There may be a few fundamental ,yet easy to rectify, dating mistakes. That may be stopping you from finding that everlasting Holy Grail of relationships
10 Dating pitfalls to look out for
Not having a clear picture of who you’re looking for. Tip: Figure out the type of person your ideal selfie-partner is, and write a list of attributes he should have. That way you’ll see him coming when he finally rides his Vespa into your life. If you don’t have a clear enough plan, you can get swayed off track which wastes valuable time. Ever spent 3 months with someone only to find out in the end that he wasn’t for you? Alas … get a plan.
Not taking the time or the therapy to heal past wounds
If you’re still the emotional walking wounded from past relationship wars. You’re probably not going to be able to get your Drew Barrymore dating-game on. Tip: Take the time to work through past hurts so you can enter the dating market with the right spring in your step. If this means seeing a therapist, make the investment. Even the most up-beat guy will see wounded coming from a lightyear away.
I want to date a rich, gorgeous, rock-star, TV personality, model. Tip: Be realistic about what you have to offer your potential partner. Aiming too high is unrealistic and is not going to get you the results you want. On the flip side. Aiming too low might indicate. You could benefit from seeing a professional. To help you re-evaluate your personal self-worth
Not dressing to match your date
Not dressing to match your date. Tip: Dress appropriately for the hipster (or not) you’re trying to attract. If a corporate conservative is your thing, dress to match that personality. But if it’s the self-employed tradie. Then maybe a crisp white shirt paired with your comfy blue denims, is more on track. Depending on where you’re going of course. Think about the person you want to meet. Establish the kind of wardrobe you think might match you prospect.
Talking about yourself too much
Self-monologing on a date. Talking too much, particularly about yourself or your life. May be seen by our potentially-perfect-other as narcissistic or self-centred. Tip: Don’t over communicate or self-disclose too much. Balance the conversation fairly. It’s a little like table tennis. I shoot the ball to you, you send it back. It’s an easy flow – one person says something, then the other takes over and so on.
Not talking enough
Flipside – not talking enough or monotoning. Hot diggity, we’ve all had a don’t-bore-me-to-death date before. Tip: Be engaging and try to raise interesting topics. If you’d messaged or spoken on the phone before meeting, you know a few things about this person. Arrive at the date with your arsenal of interesting topics you have come up with. Based on what you know about him so far.
Expecting them to always paid
A client of mine once fessed up to telling her date that she expected he would always pay for everything. Roasted! Tip: Regardless of your opinion on this topic. Best keep this one neatly tucked away in your wardrobe for fear of looking like a gold-digger. Don’t risk coming across too demanding or ‘prospecting’
Talking about your problems
Talking about problems – rookie dating mistake. Tip: Early in the process, keep things lollypops and rainbows or beer and darts, depending on your date. He doesn’t need to know about the bunion that needs removing from your foot or about issues with your ex.
Being too judgemental
Being Judge Judy. “He’s not attractive enough”, “he drives a girl’s car”. Tip: Learn to be more compassionate, tolerant and open-hearted. Your husband-in-waiting might just rock up in a Hyundai i30 but may still turn out to be gold after all.
Not making your date feel special.
Not treating your date like a king (or queen). Tip: Find pleasure in giving. Treating your date as royalty may get you the throne in the end. Everyone wants to be treated with kindness and respect. If you treat him well, you are likely to get the same back.
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